Traversing Illusory Sequences
- Oct 12, 2023
- 3 min read
Updated: Apr 19
There's a single, uncomfortable question behind Traversing Illusory Sequences: are humans capable of meaningful change, or do we simply grasp at the idea while remaining fixed exactly as we are?
As always, I'll share inspiration for the work, details on its specific symbols, and offer insight into the process I used to bring this dark surrealist art to life.
The Inspiration for Traversing Illusory Sequences
This art emerged from a moment of deep uncertainty: its twisted forms and mechanical rigidity reflect a fractured sense of self and a struggle for existential clarity.
It was a moment when the motivation for personal change ran aground on doubt and skepticism.
Two years before creating the piece, a series of challenging events brought my worst patterns to light. I was no longer able to look away from my self-defeating behaviors, so I'd begun earnestly working to replace them with kinder, more productive ways of being.
But after a sustained period of intense self-scrutiny, I was lost – I felt disconnected from my past and entirely uncertain about my future.
I was suspended in a state of restless energy, seeking the next step in the sequence of my personal growth but unable to find a clear purpose or even belief for that work.
Was I changing in any meaningful way – or just deceiving myself?
As I sat with that tension, an image burned brightly in my mind: five zombie-like men arranged in a row – each of them identical to the next – all clawing desperately at the air in front of them. Looming behind, a great skull wrapped around dense machinery – its cold structure holding the figures firmly in place. A number of crow heads shriek below them, calling out a stark warning.
As I put pencil to paper, the details became clear – and so did the symbols.
First, the men: restless and agitated, they claw and grasp at the air around them. They are legless, almost puppet-like – and emasculated. Without a true belief in their ability to shape outcomes, their lifeblood drains slowly away from them.
The skull is the unforgiving engine of self-denial. It leaves no room for rest or chances to slip into familiar patterns, even when the path forward is unclear.
Finally, the crows. These are messengers from the unknown – a spirit world, or else the subconscious mind. Intelligent, alert, and agitated, they carry primal knowledge that seeks to counterbalance the cold machinery at work. They offer guidance, or perhaps a warning.
And all around them – endless night.
The Process for Traversing Illusory Sequences
I began roughing out the composition for the piece using a 2H pencil on 14" x 14" Bristol paper. In those early moments, I allowed myself to feel each gesture as an extension of my internal state, ignoring details in favor of the broader idea.
I progressively refined the image, establishing outlines of all essential figures and objects, then switching to mechanical pencils to clarify details and add shadows.
The next step was to finalize the line art. Using a crow quill 102 pen nib, round brushes, and India ink, I interpreted each pencil mark with decisive, vigorous marks. I emphasized straight lines instead of curves to add energy and a sense of severity.
Color brought the mood and atmosphere of the art to life.
Working in Photoshop, I felt my way into a color palette that matched the feelings behind the image. Dark blues and grays dominated, while bright yellow accents offered a glimmer of life and movement.
The final step was to fully render the image, which meant adding texture, shadows, highlights, and lighting effects.
I chose two light sources, one above and one below, to create strong contrast and a dramatic, almost sinister feel. Deep blue shadows balance yellow rim lighting for a scene that remains dark in spite of its strong illumination.
Final Reflections
My art tells the story of my life, and despite the sense of uncertainty I felt while making Traversing Illusory Sequences, the image marks a turning point toward a greater sense of self-knowing.
It's the chapter after Rotting Paradigms, a work about letting go of old patterns, and before Epistemic Machinations – the moment when my self-doubt emerged into daylight.
I post process videos, sketches, and behind-the-scenes work as new art takes shape. If you'd like to see the next stages of this world as it's built, you can find me here:
Instagram | TikTok | Newsletter
